motivational

It’s Alright to Cry!

Watching the news I viewed President Obama standing before a large audience of supporters after the election,…after his election.  I was not witnessing the usual wide smile and bright eyes on our president’s face, but instead a stream of tears.  What’s happened I thought, waiting for what seemed like an inevitable revelation of some  traumatic world event.  But what came forth was news of a grateful Obama, who was overwhelmed by the gift of hard work and support toward his election from his campaign team.  His words shared his gratitude.  His tears substantiated it. I didn’t need his tears, but I understood them.

An hour later on a CNN news feature an anchor was speaking about the same scenario; not reporting the event, but instead  asking a question. “Will President Obama’s tears be seen as a sign of weakness?”

I couldn’t tell if his question was an aside, an “in the moment” thought on his part, or some analysis, perhaps to fill time.  Was he asking  the weakness question of himself perhaps, or his news team, or us on our couches at home?  I hope he was asking it of himself.  I hope he came up with a healthy answer, and will question his responsibility of reporting such limiting judgments in the future.

His topic shifted.  I didn’t!  I felt some disbelief that I’d heard him correctly.  Even wondered if I had.  It gave me a momentary sick feeing in the pit of my stomach.   I wondered his intent.  I wondered reality.  I struggled for my own assurance that we’re not in that dark a place in this time of 2012.  I wanted to be sure of the growth of my people, that they know there is strength in coming from the heart.  I know that’s where tears come from for whatever reason.

I held a great appreciation that Obama was elected for a lot of reasons. I had my own list of  why I voted for him.  All through the campaign, there was so much politicking and complicated explanations  of what would be done if elected.  I knew Obama had not fulfilled all his promises, and I knew some of the reasons he couldn’t, and I wanted him to have the chance of continuing.  I also knew there is a tremendous heart in Obama, and I knew that was what I wanted. It scares the beegeebers out of me to contemplate any leader not having heart.  I view the heart presence as paramount, crucial, mandatory.

So as I viewed Obama’s news clip, I was aware that I was witnessing a man in a moment of deep feeling. Didn’t you? He was a man steeped in gratitude to his people, and it was flowing over the top.  He was looking at his journey in the campaign, all the work, money, support, effort, determination, that had brought him a victory.  It was a success, and because of it he was moved to tears.  It had opened his heart.  As a friend of mine has said in the past, “It cracked him open.”

Let me state right here and now, that I am so grateful for politicians, teachers, caregivers, and news reporters that come from their heart. I’ve heard it said that heart is why we need more women in government.  I’m going to say I’m even passed that.  I want to know, assume, trust that men can come from their heart as easily as women, and will in all moments of decision, leadership, and choice.

It’s the old paradigm that it is not alright to cry, especially for men.  Marlo Thomas wrote a wonderful song in the 70’s, “It’s Alright To Cry,” for FREE TO BE YOU AND ME.  It was a show aimed at children and was filled with so many directives toward being in touch with and expressing feelings.  No more strident, rigid, non-feeling behavior; freeing everyone, men, women, boys and girls to feel life and express it openly.  Perhaps we need to bring it back, so we can feel the challenge again.

That show was in the 70’s!  This is a different decade, even a different century!  It’s time to look at our should’s and our judgements, the chains we put on our expressions and emotions, and move into  being free, valuing without exception, each other’s presence of heart in all of life.

Growing In The Waiting

Denny Daikeler

The reports are coming to me just like they’re coming to you.  Horrific storm, direct turn toward Delaware Valley, big winds, 10 inches of water. evacuatuation probably necessary.

I live on a creek that does overflow in extenuating circumstances.  Not comfortable!  So the reports got me.  Unrest inside, head spinnning into action thoughts.  Where will I go?  What if only power outages, what to buy?   Water? I have a spring, but electric is needed.  All the thoughts that  are rarely present are coming in; really  called to action, really hyped!

Keeping the weather hype playing, my own storm grew.  What needs doing right now, what will I grab if I decide to evacuate?   The voice inside of me clearly accompanying the  voice on the television.  We were dancing in frantic unison.

Thoughts moved me toward action.  Do laundry now, incase of power outage. Water plants,  cook a few things,  Even wash fruit and vegetables.  I don’t know who was moving faster, me or the announcer, but we truly were in the energy of the storm.

I decided to get in my car, get a  bit more cash at the ATM, fill up with gas, pick up a few more things at the grocery store.  When I got to the super market I was a bit struck with the slower tempo.  Not everyone was as deliberate as I moving through the aisles.  Some were even chatting or perusing the shelves as if they were looking for some tasty new item.  Hmmm. How confidant!

Leaving the grocery store I noticed how the air was nice, and the sky not so threatening.  Perhaps I’d get a cup of coffee, slow down a bit myself. Driving along more slowly, I heard a loud honk.  Hmm, my pace was too slow for him.

I couldn’t seem to satisfy his desire to go faster, so I pulled over, coffee cup in hand and sat there for a bit. “This is crazy!” I thought, “If anything the storm is now mirroring me!  I’m feeding the drama.  If everything is a mirror, there was no way that hurricane is going to dissipate at all.”

I pulled back out into the flow of cars choosing to drive differently.  I got home and turned on the meditation music.  I sat down and called a friend.  I  Looked out at the eastern sky and saw it was now really bright. “That may change this afternoon,” I thought, but perhaps my shift is  causing the respite,  But whatever, I feel a whole lot more peaceful and grounded in the moment.  Bet I’m far more ready for anything!”

You And Me As Artists

DENNY DAIKELER

There is as much art in creating  life, your life, my life, as there is to creating a beautiful painting, or a marvelous sculpture.  A life that is beautiful to witness is the life that has been filled with well thought-out choices of working, playing and loving.  The “work” becomes easier deeper and fuller when its’ master trusts his or her ability at artistry, their careful considerations,  the clear messages from their heart. It’s the call one answers when they hear the music and the message and have their own way to make it alive and powerful. And real!

This blog has been growing in me through a sharing I did at Del Val College on “Life As Art” to a retirement class.  Then the death of Gabrielle Roth happened, and it all began to come together.

If you don’t know her, Gabrielle Roth is a great example of what I’m calling an artist.  She brought dance off the performance stage and into life. She made dance self-expression, prayer, and a tool for freeing oneself.

As I understand it, Gabrielle  became  struck by dance as a powerful force early in her adult life.  In this awareness she kept moving and feeling  dance herself, slowly growing and understanding that pulling rhythm and music through all of her limbs, and feet, and hands  brought her huge joy and healing. She began getting a very clear personal message of dance as God.  She shared it, taught it,  lived and danced it all for her own expression, and certainly for our enrichment.  She was an artist at work, creating her life.  She didn’t just do it for us.  She did it for herself because it made her come ALIVE.  We were merely the benefactors.

It takes a lot of time to know your call; time to feel, experiment, and decide your own “artful living,” the looks, the activities, the expressions, the  messages that you are compelled to portray.  It takes years of honing, testing, and feeling your Truth.  And as one does that, lo and behold, healing happens because we move away the demons, the  ego, the resistance to expressing ourselves.

I know you’ve been struck at some moment in your life when you’ve observed someone who is doing something with great care, great presence, and abundant energy.  It’s a joy to watch. Perhaps they were sweeping a porch, planting a garden, setting a table, cutting a head of hair, or yes, creative  parenting. And you saw how they were doing it as if the result was  meant to be their masterpiece, their best.

I remember a concert at the Kimmel Center in Philadelphia.  Andre Previn was the guest and I traveled to the city to witness this man whose music, romance, and creativity had always captured me (not to mention his gorgeous brown hair!) I bought a ticket and took my seat with great anticipation.

Suddenly a figure emerged from stage right, and the crowd applauded  brilliantly.  I strained to make out who the person was.  He was round, gray haired, walking with a cane as he struggled across the stage.  “Who is that?” I thought, knowing in my next moment that it was Andre Previn!

He sat down at the piano, raised his arms and began playing the most heavenly music, with great grace, energy, and power. He played as if he was 25.  I squinted at my program and saw that this concert was a celebration of his 80th birthday!

He raised his arms again, bringing in the full banquet of instruments.  He now divided this energy between his own magnificent rendering and the incorporation of all of the instruments, different parts, crescendos and melodies.  What he was doing was a feat for anyone, and he was embodying it all in his 80 year package of creativity, precision and practice.  Andre Previn was living full out! An artist of life, breathing the  power of Self into the hearts of all.

I want to be like Andre and Gabrielle,  sculpting all the feelings, thoughts, messages coming my way, into a creation of felt observation, illustrated message, and directed energy, modeling LIFE from the very source of my own being.  Then I will know I have lived my life as an artist!

Who Am I?

Am I the accumulation of all that I’ve accomplished?  Am I the title that society has put on my profession?  Am I the sum total of all my degrees and awards.  Or am I fulfilled by fitting into a category, or political situation, or a certain way of thinking or opinion?

Two of my very best friends and I debated this very fascinating topic yesterday at the end of a walk out in the abundance of an early September afternoon and the enjoyment of a chicken salad sandwich that was way over the top with cranberry relish, pecans and Granny Smith apples!I don’t know which of those moments fed the discussion the most, or whether it was our love of exploring life and our desire to expand, but it was a great sharing.

It began with one of us being clear that she had given up all titles for now while she is exploring what’s next to invent in her life.  Another one of us was not sure she could let go of all she’d done, because she didn’t want to lose it (I loved her honesty.) Another of us was considering that she was only who she was in the moment and that was enough. All of these places were perfect, of course, and the discussion about them instigated this blog.

It’s not easy to put aside all we’ve accomplished.  It’s fun to see the shift in attention when we announce things about ourselves.  I always got new interest from someone when I would  announce that I was an interior designer, or I’d just written a book. I got new respect and attention, and often a new direction in the conversation.

I remember being at a gathering of highly intelligent, free thinking persons and a funny thing happened.  A friend came running up to me very excited, exclaiming she had just had a conversation with a most fascinating woman.  She was so inspired at her listening abilities, and awed by her presence.  Who was it ”I asked?“

“That woman over there in the red dress,” she said.

I turned in the direction she pointed and saw the attractive woman in red and recognized her immediately.  She was a local talk show host who had a very prominent position on a local channel and a great deal of visibility because of her personal views.  I shared the person’s identity with my friend, smiling deeply inside.

Both of us were so impressed that this beautiful and prominent woman had not identified herself.  Instead she remained anonymous and therefore in total equality with my friend.  She didn’t choose to dominate with an announcement of who she was, she didn’t identify herself, she didn’t rely on anything to sustain my friend’s interest or to captivate or initiate any platform.  The moment was fresh, new, and reliant only on the presence of these two women open to their conversation in the moment.

My friend was stunned, or should I say speechless!  And then I watched her move to a great deal of awe and respect.  The person not identifying herself made a real mark on her awareness.  She recognized a freedom and consciousness that was so attractive, and so open to acceptance of all possibilities.  No control, no dependence, no affect.  We both looked at each other with new thoughts, new depth, and some valuable input to investigate just being Denny or Kathy, or Joe, and let the life moment go on from there.

Does that violate branding? Does that violate appreciation of what you or I have accomplished?  Or does that represent a step into beingness and confidence that leaves behind the self that relies on the trappings of life and the rules or labels of success? Does that allow connection to be deeper?

Well, just as I was winding up the writing of this blog the phone rang.  It was a dear friend of life.  He announced to me that it was his beloved wife’s 60th birthday this weekend, and I was literally at the top of her list of birthday wishes.  She wanted a consultation at her home with me!

How funny that this call came at this moment.  I say that because I literally am smiling ear to ear to be at the top of her list.  It makes me feel great.  Who am I right now?  I am the first wish at the top of Lori’s birthday wish list, and I feel good. And I can assure you that I’m smiling at all the words on this page.

Here’s what I sent to back to present to Lori:

Dear Lori,

How fascinating that I was in the midst of writing a blog titled:  Who AM I, as a call from Bob came in. It is Lori’s 60th birthday, he announced, and you are literally #1 on the top of her birthday wish list! She wants to consult with you!  Lori, I am flattered. My answer is “of course!”

And Happy Birthday, Lori!

Love, Denny

“It’s fabulous,” I thought.  And I meant it!  I love this couple and Iove that Lori thought of me FIRST AND FOREMOST!

So who am I?   Well, of course, I am #1 on Lori’s birthday wish list. I may have to rewrite the blog, but I’m certainly continuing to learn WHO I AM!